Sell yourself, miss something, apologise and be happy

Oh my! We are already well and truly halfway through May. This year is flying just as I expected it would. I wish I could slow down my perception of time to that of a child. Remember when the summer school holidays seemed to last forever? I must admit though that this Sydney summer seems to have gone on a long time. The sun just keeps on shining and we are still in t-shirts so I shouldn't complain.

I am a week behind in the #blogeverydayinmay challenge. Rather than drop out I'm going to attempt to catch up in a couple of posts. Here we go...

Day 11: Sell yourself in 10 words or less

This post seemed way too difficult to write over the last week. Something weird has been happening to me. I've had some pretty full on emotional ups and downs over the last six or so years but the last week takes the cake. I've been spontaneously bursting into tears. Seriously. It happened in the supermarket the other day. Crazy shit is going on in my brain.

I just have to think of something sad and I'll start crying. Or the kids will stress me out and boom! I'm losing it. I'm really struggling with looking after both Ned and Mala (my niece) on Tuesdays. How do you mums with more than one in your brood do it? One kid? No probs. Two? Send me back to the asylum!

My sister offered to put Mala in daycare an extra day but I said no. I really want to be the person that can handle this. I should be able to handle looking after two kids for eight hours on one day a week! I love how close Ned and Mala are. Neddy asks about her all the time and Mala beams when she sees him. When Neddy goes to big school next year they won't be able to have this special day together as often. I really want to make it work.

So ten words to sell me? When I'm feeling so crap about myself?

When I was young and learning to type I used to practice typing this sentence over and over so it is the sequence of words I can type the fastest out of all the others. And it just happens to have 10 words.

Vanessa is the best person in the whole entire world.

It is silly, immature and clearly inaccurate but what the hell! No one is going to mark this shit.

I just aim to get these two home in one piece at the end of the day

Day 12: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)

What do I miss? I miss living in London and travelling. I wouldn't change my current situation for the world but I do sometimes miss the freedom of living on the other side of it from my family. I miss the freedom of not having a kid, of not having to tell anyone where I'm going to be, of not being accountable. But only for a second.

I miss the trips abroad organised on a whim on pay day. I miss the art, the nightlife and the gigs. Oh how I miss the music! Occasionally I even miss the drugs and the alcohol. But rarely.

Hell, sometimes I even miss the Tube.

     Said no one ever!

  Ok, maybe I did.

In New York City for my 30th birthday celebration

I really hope one day I'll leave Australia again to visit some places I haven't been to yet. But I never want to go back to the life I used to have. Even if I do miss it just a tiny bit.

Day 13: Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.

I want to apologise to my son and my family for not being an easy person to live with. I'm sorry that my moods can be erratic and that I can't handle stressful situations very well. I'm sorry that I'm forgetful and vague sometimes. I'm sorry that my anxiety overwhelms me so much sometimes that I burst into tears in the middle of the supermarket (I clearly can't get over this!) while trying to look after two kids with the help of my mum. (Thank god she was there but seriously? Anxiety attack when mum was even there to help? WTF?)

I'm sorry that I haven't gone back to full time work yet and that I'm shit at cleaning the bathroom regularly. I'm sorry I leave stuff all around the apartment. I'm sorry I don't cook dinner every night. I'm sorry I spend so much time in front of my laptop.

I think that is all I'm sorry about at the moment. I bet there's more though. That's enough for now!

Day 14: Ten things that make you really happy

1. My son. Occasionally he drives me nuts but 99% of the time he is the light of my life. Seeing Ned smile. Watching his reaction to experiencing something new. Hearing him say "I love you" for the 20th time in one day.
2. My family. All of them. What would I do without them? They are my everything. They get me. It has taken a long time but I think they finally accept me for who I am - neuroses and all! That makes me happy and sort of nullifies my apology (see day 13 above).
3. My blog. My lifeline. My 24/7 counsellor. My fun. My mental stimulation. My community.
4. The warm autumn sun. Not too hot and not too cold.
5. Looking out onto Sydney Harbour from any viewpoint. Blue, grey or black. Just looking at that deep blue Harbour and the city that envelopes it sends pure joy and love through my veins. I wasn't born here and I've spent over ten years of my life in other cities but Sydney will always be home to me. 
6. Being entertained and/or provoked to think. Watching a great TV series/movie. Reading a page turner or a great newspaper piece. Seeing live music. Viewing amazing art.  
7. Drinking a really great cup of coffee. The smell of it, the taste of it, the feel of it. Coffee I love you. You make me very happy.
8. Eating food that flavour bombs your tongue and makes you want to close your eyes to enjoy not only the taste, but the smell and texture all at once. Think a freshly made cake, dumplings from Din Tai Fung, my brother's BBQ and his homemade sauces that go with it.
9. Shopping makes me so happy! Especially if the item is on sale. Purchasing something that I know I will love for a long time. Especially footwear and clothing. I probably have an unhealthy relationship with spending money but still it makes me happy. 
10. Losing weight. Seeing the numbers go down on the scales. I really need to bring this kind of happiness back into my life. Really.

Recent clothing purchases and my new Duo boots

I love these kids! They make me crazy sometimes but I love them and they make me happy.

Phew! Only 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 left to catch up!


Do you want to issue a public apology? Maybe tell me what makes you happy.

I hope you're having a great weekend wherever you are.


V.

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For the love of boots

Unsurprisingly I've fallen way behind in #blogeverdayinmay. I do plan to try to catch up but sometimes I just don't feel like writing. I'm still here online lurking about social media websites, ashamedly rubbernecking on snark forums (I never actually snark but I can't look away from the ugliness) or flicking through page after page of fashion retail sites (think shoes, clothes, handbags - oh how I lust!).

Last night for instance I spent hours looking for long black leather boots for winter. I've been hunting for the right boot for months. I hope I've finally found them because I've paid and am now waiting patiently for my order to come from the UK.

I have the dodgiest feet and legs. I'm knock kneed, pigeon toed and my knees are hypermobile (bend back). One foot is longer than the other and the shorter one is wider than the longer one. Buying comfortable shoes that I know I will wear and that will look good is a huge challenge for me. I hardly ever wear heels. In summer I wear Birkenstocks. In winter, well, I'll tell you all about it...

This year I was going to go for an ankle length biker boot. I've had a picture of these ones pinned up on my wall for weeks:

Oh how I love these

Are these not the most gorgeous biker boots? They are called Ash Tornado Black Studded Ankle Boots. They scream rock chick and would look hot with a short girly dress with leggings or with skinny jeans teamed with an oversized cardi (like I know this shit - sarcasm). The only downfall is that Ash boots are really heavy. Myer stock one style of Ash biker boot which I had a touch and feel of and I was astonished by their weight. After a long day out and about with the kids I reckon these babies would cause a bit of foot fatigue. They are also quite exy being in the $300+ range.

After weeks of looking around I thought maybe I need to go for a long boot this year. Last year I bought a pair of Camper biker boots which are gorgeous but the right one is a little small for my annoyingly longer foot. They are also heavy. I've been a major fan of Camper since I got my first pair in 2002. They were a lovely pair bright tomato red Mary Janes. Oh how I loved those shoes! I've had five other pairs of different styles of Campers since. I love their original look.

Last year's boot from Camper

My most enduring footwear relationship though has been with Dr Martens. I got my first pair of Docs in 1988. I was the second girl at my school to wear them as school shoes. It made me feel pretty damned cool. I've had seven pairs since. From lace up shoes to 6-up romper stompers to ankle boots and mid calf wedge heeled boots. I feel like I have grown up with my feet wrapped in Dr Martens.

I have a pair just like this one below. I bought them in 2003 when I first arrived in the UK. They cost about 60 quid if I recall and I wore them everywhere. I still have them but they have a hole in one of the soles where the seam has split. You can't really tell, but when I wore them on a weekend trip to Latvia back in late winter 2007, icy water seeped in making it pretty chilly down there for my poor little toes.

The most comfortable Doc around - the Wedge

My other favourite Docs when I lived in the UK were the Jenna Ankle Boot. Here they are in blue although mine were deep red. I practically lived in them. The heels had to be replaced several times and I actually wore them down to the leather. Unfortunately they can't be worn any more but I refuse to throw them in the bin. There's just too many memories in those soles!

Jenna - my old best friend

So back to now and my 2013 winter boot decision. I could have bought another pair of Docs and gone for the cherry red or maybe even the brown in the Wedge boot but Docs are so expensive in Australia and I refuse to pay more than the rest of the world does.

I want need a boot that is going to be comfortable, practical, look good with all my clothes and a pair that will keep my legs warm and cosy through winter.

So.... drum roll please... I found Duo Boots. Duo specialise in wide calf boots and have the most gorgeous selection of winter tailored boots I have seen in a long time. I don't know if I am maturing and moving away from my chunkier style rock chick footwear passions or simply just looking for cleaner lines this season but these Duo Malmo Boots are the ones. I haven't received them yet so I can't speak for their comfort but by the looks of those non-slip rubber soles I am in for some long days of easy walking.

Duo Malmo Boots

These boots are actually really reasonably priced too. At only A$180 I reckon they are a steal! They retail online for GBP140 but because they are getting delivered to Australia I don't have to pay the VAT. Plus with the Aussie dollar being so strong and the fact that Duo don't charge for shipping these are turning out to be a really great purchasing decision... and I haven't even got them yet!

If they turn out to be really comfy, I've got my eyes on these lovely tan numbers as well...

Lusting after these Carvel boots

As soon as I get my new boots I'll let you know how they feel.

Do you lust over shoes like I do? Do you have a favourite style or brand?

V.

PS. None of this post has been sponsored. All opinions are my own. I just felt like writing about boots. Are you cool with that?

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Day 10: Embarrassing hair

Day 10, Friday: Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill.

What a blog prompt! Most embarrassing moment? I actually have to think about this because I can't remember the last time I was really embarrassed. Which is good, no?

When I was younger I was embarrassed all the time. I think I spent my entire young existence in a permanent state of embarrassment. I was so shy and so worried what anyone and everyone might be thinking about me. I craved approval. Now, of course I do still care what people think about me, but not as much.

Of course when I was drinking I embarrassed myself all of the time. I hated waking up and getting a flashback of the night before and cringing at the thought of what I had done under the influence. I can't even bare to repeat some of those stories.

Rather than describe my most embarrassing moment I'm going to show you some of my most embarrassing hairstyles. I've noticed a few bloggers lately talking about bad hair or bad fashion of the past. It's fun to look back and laugh at what I used to wear or how I used to do my hair. I guess in 10, 20, 50 years from now I'll think the same about what I wore today.

My hair is naturally ash blonde. I coloured my hair with henna when I was about 15 years old. Most people thought it was natural. That's me in the top left hand corner on the night of my year 10 formal sporting a very Molly Ringwald look.

Later in 1990 I shaved an undercut into my hair which you can't actually see in the second picture, but it is there. Goes so nicely with the 2 Live Crew t-shirt (sarcasm here). From 1989 through 1991 I was playing a lot with colour. Clearly.

The photo on the bottom right hand corner is me before leaving to go to my year 12 formal. I had a gob full of braces and the 'do the hairdresser created was a very strange interpretation of the photo I asked him to copy.

That picture of me taken in 1995 is an interesting one. That was a sad period in the life of my hair. Not long before it was really long and beautiful. One day I woke up bored with it so went to the hairdresser and asked them to cut it back quite a bit. The new look was quite good, once I got used to it, but when I went to get it trimmed again at a different salon the hairdresser totally stuffed it up. I went to a number of stylists trying to get the cut sorted out and ended up with really short hair (shorter than in this picture). I was dressed up like a boy for this photo because we were off to a cross dressing themed 21st birthday party.

After the short hair debacle of 1995 I have pretty much always had mid length to long blonde hair. That is of course until my recent dalliance with pink hair!

I quite liked this brief brush (get it - brush, hair - so funny) with the wild side of colour but I'm glad to be back to my standard half head of foils, mid length, layered, blow dried straight hair.

Tiredness is overwhelming me tonight but I really want to get this post out because I'm already a day behind with #blogeverydayinmay. Please excuse any typos. I'm off to bed.

What was your most embarrassing hairstyle?

V.

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